Haven of Mercy

  Predators:  Pedophiles, Rapists, and other Sex Offenders Who They Are, How They Operate, and How We Can Protect Ourselves and Our Children by Anna C. Salter, PH. D. Published 2004   Predators by Anna Salter is a thought-provoking study of the chilling and disturbing world of sexual predators. Drawing upon her years of experience as a clinical psychologist, Salter digs deep into the minds and motivations of sexual predators, providing readers with insights into this dark and complex issue. The book begins by revealing the psychological understanding of predatory behavior. Her years of research and work interviewing predators shed light on many factors that contribute to the planning and implementation of such heinous crimes. Factors such as: how people are time and time again naïve and manipulated, the false beliefs that they hold about victims and predators, and human inability to detect lies and deceit.   Salter reveals that predators use ignorance,...

Do Christians today, do Protestant Reformed Christians today, understand that it’s not contradictory to believe and to live our lives in a practical way that shows we believe that when we commit sin, even horrific sins that affect the entire life of another, God can and does work repentance and a turning from that sin, AND, those sins are forgiven by Him and fellow believers, AND, the *eternal* consequences of those sins are paid for by Christ’s sacrifice on the cross….AND there are still consequences for those sins in our lifetime? How many Christians today in the church would be shaking their fist and railing at God for all the consequences He laid upon David for his sins? Did God work true sorrow and repentance in David? Yes. Was David forgiven? Yes. Was David a saved child of God? Yes. Did David’s sins have consequences for him and his children/grandchildren? Yes. Do we read that history and say it was not ok or fair for David to have to live with these consequences? I doubt it. Th...

  Protecting Your Church Against Sexual Predators: Legal FAQs for Church Leaders by Voyle A. Glover, Esq   This review, written by Cherith Guichelaar, was first published in the May 15, 2022 issue of The Standard Bearer   I first heard the name Megan Kanka while reading Protecting Your Church Against Sexual Predators by. Voyle A. Glover, Esq.  Before you read any further, if you are able, I ask you to pull out your computer or phone and search that name.  Do you see her?  Do you see her squinted eyes peering out at you?  Eyes that seem ready to let loose laughter at any moment.  Her tanned cheeks gather upward in smile; her button nose sits so beautifully.  Those teeth of hers remind me so much of my own daughter.  The two middle pearls beam prominently and proudly – clear evidence of a baby just growing to be child.  Her hair wisps its way out of the photo breathing childhood at me.  But this little girl wouldn’t li...

The following excerpt comes from a conversation had with a family member of a perpetrator of sexual abuse. (We post this with their permission.) “We as churches are quick to apply Matthew 18:21-22 to abuse, thinking we must forgive repeatedly and bear patiently with the repeat offenses. Abusers know this and exploit it. We default to assuming this is a struggling brother whose outbursts of anger and denial are out of character slips that are perhaps our own fault for pushing him too hard. We do not rather consider the possibility that perhaps the majority of what we see of the abuser is a show and the outbursts reveal the true state of his heart when the evil of his heart is addressed. Is he a wounded sheep, or a wolf struggling to maintain his facade? A critical question is what does a repentant abuser look like? It is NOT looking for a check-list and taking a willingness to comply with a checklist as a sign of repentance. It must be a complete change of heart, not simply observed beh...

  Upcoming Conference HAVEN '24:  A Biblical and Compassionate Response to Abuse in the Church HAVEN of Mercy invites you to hear advocate and survivor Rachael DenHollander and pastor and counselor Chris Moles speak at our conference on domestic and sexual abuse. Rachael and Chris will each give three speeches with an opportunity for questions and meet-and-greet.  Information about tickets, paid livestream options, and sponsorship opportunities will be available soon.  When:  January 12 & 13 Where:  Fair Haven Church, Hudsonville MI Here is a link to the tickets for the conference. https://www.eventbrite.com/e/ 717318919197?aff=oddtdtcreator

  September Theme: Predators This month we will be focusing on the heavy and dark topic of Predators. The reality that there are most likely predators in every church is harsh, startling, and painful, but acknowledging and learning about this will equip all of us to protect our children. These conversations can be troubling and scary, but for the sake of the little lambs of Zion, these conversations need to take place. We commit to handling this topic with utmost carefulness, and will provide trigger warnings when posting links to some of the articles and podcasts. "For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad." Mark 4:22 "For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God." John 3:20-21