by Voyle A. Glover, Esq
This review,
written by Cherith Guichelaar, was first published in the May 15, 2022 issue of
The Standard Bearer
I first
heard the name Megan Kanka while reading Protecting Your Church Against
Sexual Predators by. Voyle A. Glover, Esq. Before you read any
further, if you are able, I ask you to pull out your computer or phone and
search that name. Do you see her? Do you see her squinted eyes
peering out at you? Eyes that seem ready to let loose laughter at any
moment. Her tanned cheeks gather upward in smile; her button nose sits so
beautifully. Those teeth of hers remind me so much of my own
daughter. The two middle pearls beam prominently and proudly – clear
evidence of a baby just growing to be child. Her hair wisps its way out
of the photo breathing childhood at me. But this little girl wouldn’t
live to see the start of 2nd
grade. When Megan went missing, police discovered that her neighbor had
lured her into his home with the promise to show her a puppy. Once
inside, he raped Megan, and then strangled her to death as she fought off the
attack. Following this brutal assault, her precious body was stuffed in a
toy chest and driven to a county park where her assailant sexually assaulted
her a final time before disposing her body in the weeds. When the
neighbor finally confessed to police, he told them he had been watching Megan
for months.1
You may be
asking “What’s the point in bringing this up?” While trying to spare the
heinous details, yet at the same time seeking to comprehend the horrific
realities a scared 7-year-old girl went through, I bring this to your attention
because her parents didn’t know. They were completely unaware that
their neighbor had two previous convictions of sexual assault. This
violent rape and murder brought forth “Megan’s Law,” which orders local
officials to make public in whatever way their state judges the names of known
sexual offenders. So, it’s simple really. I don’t want our families
to be the ones weeping, saying to themselves, “If only we had
known.”
Protecting
Your Church Against Sexual Abuse is approached from a legal
perspective, setting the author up to give leaders guidance on defending their
churches from the horrors of abuse. His aim “is not to provoke irrational
fear, but rather to promote a more watchful attitude” (pg. 25). He calls us to
acknowledge that sexual abuse dwells in our midst and to appreciate the danger
it poses. Churches are often filled with children and lack proper
monitoring, and therefore are targets for abuse. Along with this, we have
the tendency to want to see the best in people, and perhaps are even inclined
to minimize or cover a crime by saying to ourselves, “But by the grace of God,
there go I.” Although molestation can occur anywhere, the book
lists some of the more common areas, which can include nursery, special
outings, Sunday school, sleepovers, counseling, and bathrooms. Glover
takes a firm stance prohibiting males from helping in the nursery.
Glover’s
approach is to “create an environment in the church that is decidedly hostile
to sexual predators” (pg. 64). He emphasizes the growing awareness we
must have, and that church leaders must take strides to assure their
congregants they are serious about protecting the sheep. “The process
begins when the pastor and other leaders realize that they themselves are not
above suspicion. Every pastor ought to want to demonstrate to the
congregation that he is willing to place his ministry ‘in the open’” (pg. 76).
He makes clear that precautions and policies must be made and implemented,
spelling out distinctly for the congregation what is appropriate and what is
not. Two precautions he gives are avoiding single teacher environments in
Sunday school classes and forbidding a man to counsel a woman alone.
Strikingly, the most sexual sin involving pastors occurs in counseling more
than in any other setting. Glover advises that pastors involve their
wives and/or another mature woman in the counseling to provide protection as
well as a feminine touch that Titus 2:3-5 encourages. He bluntly
states, “I believe it is often pride that prompts a pastor to believe he has to
counsel alone.” Where he realizes some may be critical of leaders taking
such a hard stance on these issues, he warns not to waiver in your precautions,
and that “as people become accustomed to the good reasons why everyone should
be held to a high standard, there will be new confidence in the church as a
safe place with prudent leaders” (pg. 79).
Regarding
offenders, Glover admits that where data indicates that pedophiles are wired
differently in their psychosexual makeup and therefore it is generally believed
they don’t change, that research doesn’t consider God’s ability to change the
heart. However, the reality remains that even if change is present, we
cannot know the heart of a man. Consequently, even with confession, the
church must not place unrestrained, implicit trust in an individual. He
states, “To ignore the strength of pedophilia addiction, even in changed
pedophiles, is to court disaster” (pg. 27). Glover takes care to
distinguish the difference between sorrow over sin as opposed to sorrow over
sin’s consequence, and when one has molested, it is to be assumed that “this
sin will always be a temptation to him,” and he “will no doubt do what all
Christians do in life: stumble, fall, fail, and exhibit weaknesses and
doubts. There is a very substantial likelihood that, for this man, stumbling
means he will commit an act that harms a child” (pg. 28). Therefore,
“As a church leader, you have a responsibility to ensure the safety of the
flock as well as a responsibility to see to it that the congregation has a true
understanding of the difference between loving the fallen sinner and loving him
responsibly” (pg. 19). Where the grace of God must be included in our
reasoning, he says “leaders must act with wise restraint and discipline, as
opposed to unqualified, blanket acceptance of such a person under the rubric of
love” (pg. 31). This love must make clear to the offender that he
will be constantly monitored and “certain actions will not be permitted, and
even one infraction will be grounds for dismissal” (pg. 32). Glover
explains, “Under no circumstance is he to be alone with children nor is he in
any way to solicit their companionship, their favor, or to even entertain them
in any way. This would include giving them candy or doing little tricks
for them” (pg. 32). He advises that stipulations and prohibitions should
be written, signed, dated, witnessed, and filed. He states that this does
not mean that leaders will continually think the worst of someone, or that that
the man is lying about his spiritual growth. But what it does mean is
that they as leaders, along with the convicted molester, must candidly look at
reality. “If the man is honest with himself and others, he should be open
to guidance and accountability and agree with the need for close attention”
(pg. 28-29).
He
concludes his book by saying, “A leader in a church cannot afford to ignore the
counsel given in these pages. If you are in the church where the
leadership insists on breaking the rules or refuses to follow some of the advice
given in here, then you have a choice: stay and suffer the consequences or
stand up and insist on accountability. It’s hard to believe that any
leader would be so arrogant as to expose his church and members to harm, but
history shows there have been such leaders and there will be more to
follow. Please don’t be one of those. I trust you will pay heed to
the counsel given here” (pg. 96).
As I end
this review, I go out of my comfort zone, struggling to determine if it’s more
review or more plea. Those of you who are educating and looking to make
policies – thank you. To those who haven’t done much, whether church
leader or pew sitter – it is with you that I plead: Please read. Please
listen to those whose spirits have been intimately bowed down with the burden
brought on by different degrees and varieties of abuse. They do not come
in bitterness, but with the burden of sharing, praying you comprehend the
brokenness they share with you, hoping you will believe and proactively protect
the sheep.
The little
girl who sparked the making of Megan’s Law was no different than your friend,
cousin, or niece. She was no different than you. There are numerous
names among us that hold abuse on their hearts – names that have taken the
damage to the grave, names that speak up, and names that sit with sealed lips
and hearts. Names of those who have abused must be known so that more
innocent names don’t fall victim to their prey. What is one name worth to
us? Let us not be churches that utter “If only we knew.” Let
us take heed to the words Jesus spoke unto Peter, “Lovest thou me? …feed my
sheep.” One day we will meet our Savior face to face, and He will ask of
us, “Did you love me? Did you protect my sheep?”
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