Haven of Mercy

  In “The Heart of Domestic Abuse”, Chris Moles urges us to view domestic abuse as a problem that lies within the heart of the abuser. Chris teaches us that until the abuser acknowledges that the problem in the marriage is a heart problem, reconciliation will not be possible. Chris clearly shows in this book that many tend to blame the victim in domestic abuse. He tells us that a shepherd should never blame the sheep. If the shepherd were to blame the sheep, it would look something like this: “Come on sheep, stop looking so delicious.” “Try your best to avoid the wolves.” “Well, you know wolves will be wolves.” All of the above statements, and any variations on them, are victim blaming. They should never be uttered to a victim. The victim is the sheep in need of protection, and we must address the behavior of the wolves first, not the sheep. Chris is uniquely qualified to write about this topic, as he has worked with many domestic abusers in his life, and in doing so, has...

  Part 1 of 3. A story from a friend of HAVEN of Mercy. I am so thankful for HAVEN of Mercy. I wish I would’ve had a resource like HAVEN years ago and am looking forward to the conference in January. Abuse has touched me in various ways. I recently found out that my mother was assaulted by her minister as a teenager. My mother told her parents, they immediately believed her. When her father, my grandfather, approached the consistory about the incident, the elders went to the pastor, who denied it. “It never happened,” he said. The consistory believed the minister. He continued as their minister and my grandparents and mother were forced into silence. Abuse isn’t anything new, unfortunately, and has been happening for generations; it frequently hasn’t been dealt with properly. This was often because of lack of knowledge and understanding of abuse. We have the opportunity to change this for our children and grandchildren now! Part 2 of 3. A story from a friend of HAVEN of Mercy...