Something’s Not Right

 

Part 1 of 3. A story from a friend of HAVEN of Mercy.

I am so thankful for HAVEN of Mercy. I wish I would’ve had a resource like HAVEN years ago and am looking forward to the conference in January.

Abuse has touched me in various ways.

I recently found out that my mother was assaulted by her minister as a teenager. My mother told her parents, they immediately believed her.

When her father, my grandfather, approached the consistory about the incident, the elders went to the pastor, who denied it. “It never happened,” he said. The consistory believed the minister. He continued as their minister and my grandparents and mother were forced into silence.

Abuse isn’t anything new, unfortunately, and has been happening for generations; it frequently hasn’t been dealt with properly. This was often because of lack of knowledge and understanding of abuse. We have the opportunity to change this for our children and grandchildren now!

Part 2 of 3. A story from a friend of HAVEN of Mercy

As a child I watched a teacher groom a fellow classmate. This teacher also frequently mistreated all of the students and abused them while disciplining them. Back then, I didn’t know this was grooming and abuse but I remember it felt wrong. I was scared of my teacher.

I was later assaulted by a teacher at my high school. He touched me in an inappropriate way. I never dared say anything to anyone because I figured no one would take me seriously.

I am now the 2nd generation in this family who has experienced sexual assault as a child. I am the 2nd generation of children who experienced abuse by those in authority, by those who were supposed to care for us, for our souls, minds and body.

I know we can be sick of hearing about abuse, thinking that many are going overboard on the subject. But we must do our best to protect our children and support them when they come forward. We must be prepared to respond in a biblical and compassionate way.

Part 3 of 3. A story from a friend of HAVEN of Mercy.

“As a parent I did everything I could to protect my children. I taught them stranger danger, and appropriate behavior around the topics of sex. I gave them curfews and had conversations about good friends.

But despite my efforts my children too experienced sexual misconduct and assault.

My child babysat at different homes where playboy magazines were frequently left open on the coffee tables. Had I known that then, I would have never let that child back in that house. I tried to protect them from those images but others didn’t care to protect my child.

My children were assaulted by a man while delivering newspapers on their paper route. We reported it to the police, and we found out that this wasn’t this man’s first incident.

These same children went to a school where a youth pastor was caught sexually abusing a fellow student. The pastor was let go, but he went to a different church and school in a different state to pastor there. The incident was explained to the parents and staff as an inappropriate adulterous relationship. Through my learning over the recent years, I have realized that this too was abuse and that it was handled very wrongly. That could have been one of my children.

It pains me that this had touched 3 generations, and I pray often for my grandchildren that they will be spared this horrible reality.

Thank you HAVEN for offering hope to me that it doesn’t have to continue and that we can respond better to those who suffer these awful things.”

One person has this many stories in their own family’s life. This IS happening in our community, and we cannot ignore it. Learning starts with a willingness to be humble and admit we have much more to learn about abuse.