February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.
With that in mind, we will be sharing resources and information about this topic for the rest of the week. We encourage you to share these resources and talk about these things with your teenagers (both male and female).
First Recommended Resource:
Darby Strickland, domestic abuse expert, Biblical counselor, and author of "Is It Abuse?" shares eight warning signs that a dating relationship might become abusive. The 8 warning signs are: intensity, jealousy, guilting, criticism, sabotaging, manipulating, isolating, and blame shifting. There is an intensity that is continually asking. "Will you be mine?" But is really saying, "You will become mine!" (Darby Strickland)
Second Recommended Resource:
For him: “He does not try to seduce his girlfriend by whispering in her ear that he loves her and then leading her into sexual sin. His love is holy and pure and desires to preserve the purity of his future wife. He shows he loves her by giving of himself and willingly sacrificing on her behalf. The dateable young man is not, therefore, a domineering brute. Young women should be very leery of young men who abuse the idea of headship and authority. A young woman should be on the lookout for any signs that a young man is prone to belittling her, controlling her, losing his temper easily toward her, and abusing her. These things indicate the young man is not loving and is not a suitable husband.”
For her: “Being under the authority still of her father, she does not submit to her boyfriend. But she should give evidence of being ready to do this one day when they are married. She is not rebellious. She does not relish living independently and being her own authority. She reveals that she is clothed with the inner beauty of a “meek and quiet spirit” I Pet. 3:4. Her submissive spirit does not now or in marriage make her a doormat or wallflower. It doesn’t mean that she has no gifts or no opinion. She does have gifts, and she uses them. She does have an opinion, and she is free to express it. But she is ready to place all these things into the service of her marriage and home.”
Dating Differently by Rev. Joshua Engelsma is an excellent read for your teen to encourage godly relationships and strong marriages.
Third Recommended Resource
This phenomenal sermon was directed to young adults, and is in keeping with this week's focus on violence in teen dating relationships. True love does not pressure a girlfriend or boyfriend to cross sexual boundaries before marriage. In fact, this sort of pressure is violence in a relationship! Please listen to this sermon with your teenagers, and discuss with them what true love looks like in a dating relationship.
Final Recommended Resource
"Banks require tellers to be so familiar with real currency, so that they can identify counterfeit easily. If we don't demonstrate and model authentic, healthy relationships then we can't expect our teens to build healthy relationships from examples that are toxic. If we want them to see the counterfeit, we're going to need to model for them and talk to them about the real thing. So that they're so exposed to the real deal that the counterfeit stands out."
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