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To Disclose or not

We are aware that we most likely have some readers and followers who have been sexually abused and are not ready to disclose yet (or at all).  You don’t want to tell your family, your elders, an advocate, or Guideposts right now.  Or perhaps you made the decision a long time ago to not disclose, and a third party investigation is not going to change your mind. 

We respect your decision not to disclose at this time, and we acknowledge that no one is required to disclose simply because a third party has been hired.

To disclose or not is a very personal decision.

This is your story, and you can tell it when you are ready.  Not before.  And maybe not ever.

Disclosing sexual abuse is often the first step of a very difficult journey.

Some disclosure journeys only pour salt in the wounds.

Other disclosure journeys are difficult, but end with the binding up of your wounds.

Some of you are in the thick of fighting an inner battle of guilt and shame, and wonder if disclosing will help or hurt you in the battle within.

Some of you know that your families will not support your disclosure.

Some of you are members of communities that are not survivor-friendly.

Some of you are members of supportive families and communities, but you still don’t want to disclose for many reasons known only to you.

Some of you will never disclose, because the time will never feel right or because your environment will not improve.

Disclosing does not mean you are a better Christian or a more virtuous person.

We believe there is value in using your voice, but remaining silent doesn’t mean you are of less value to God than someone who uses their voice.

We believe that disclosing to someone who receives it well can promote healing, but we know that choosing to not disclose doesn’t preclude you from healing.

We grieve with you.  We love you.  We are praying for you.  And we respect your decision.

We see you, even though we don’t know who you are.  And even though we don’t know who you are, your Heavenly Father does know you.

Whether or not you choose to disclose, you are loved and you are known by your Heavenly Father.


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