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Covenant Marriage

 “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭4‬-‭6‬ ‭KJV‬‬


The foundation of marriage starts in creation.  God created Adam and then said “It is not good that the man should be alone.”  Why wasn’t it good?  God is a triune God who is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  God has perfect fellowship and love in his being between the 3 persons.  God in his love and grace has included his creation in that life of fellowship, friendship and love.  God created man to have communion with him not only, but, as one created in his image, with others too.  So God formed Eve from the rib of Adam and gave him his wife.  God made her bone of Adam’s bone and flesh of his flesh.  They were one flesh.  Adam and Eve were created to have friendship, fellowship, and love with God and with each other in sweet communion together.


But then they fell.  And as we read in the Heidelberg Catechism “now we are prone by nature to hate God and our neighbor.” This is evident in Adam and Eve’s response to the fall, they turned against each other.  In marriage where love was supposed to reign, hatred and bitterness entered.  They shifted blame and sought their own good, and not the good of their closest neighbor.


The standard for marriage is not marriage as it is now after the fall, but, according to Jesus in Matthew 19, as God created it before it was defiled by sin.  Now sin mars the beautiful creation and instead of peace, beauty, and harmony with God and each other it was replaced with lust, dominion, hatred and shame towards each other and God. 

But “God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life.”  In his grace and mercy Jesus came to deliver us from the bondage of the devil and gave us the promise of life everlasting in the new creation.  Death no more reigns but now we are ruled by the Spirit and have peace, joy, and love in our relationship.  We live in marriage respecting and cherishing one another, and with humility serving each other. 

But how did our Savior gain the victory?  He did not come as a typical earthly king, but as a baby in a manger, he lived a life of poverty, and was beaten, condemned, and executed. He took the form of a slave. “He was despised and rejected of men.” 

In his lowest moment, when he died on that cross the devil was crushed by the Seed of the women as promised in Genesis 3:15. Jesus on the cross was not a victim; rather he was the victor.  He was the conquering hero. 

He did these things not for His own glory but that we might be loved and accepted by God.  He did that so we are now without blemish, without spot and that we could live in fellowship, friendship and sweet communion with our Maker and with one another.

Jesus is now ruling at the right hand of God and will come again to gather his Church, his Bride, to himself and we will reign with him.  What hope we have!

But like the heroes of faith before us, we live having not yet received the promise.  We still must fight against our sinful flesh.  We are still prone to pride and think that we can have dominion here of ourselves, fighting for our causes and trusting in ourselves.  But God calls us to something better, our example is Christ, who won the victory not by power or might but by making himself of no reputation and putting on the form of a servant.  Now he calls us to do the same. Don’t exalt yourself. Remember what Christ has done for you.  (Philippians 2)

Now we can live our married lives as redeemed sinners. The more we know the love of Jesus, the more we will love each other out of thankfulness for the great love with which he has loved us. And as we walk on our pilgrim journey together we humbly serve, respect and love each other in sweet communion as husband and wife as Jesus our Bridegroom is with us! 

We pray for those whose marriage isn’t grounded in the cross but is a place of danger, hatred, and fear.  We pray for those who desire to live a godly marriage but who are living one filled with pain and sorrow. God hears your prayers dear child of his, and he gives you strength as you face this evil.  

We have advocates who are able and willing to help you.  

You can reach out to us on our website at https://www.havenofmercypr.org/domestic-abuse-advocate. 

By email at Dahelp@havenofmercypr.org 

or by calling (616) 287-5346


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